All Things Go
by BrocktreeJustLeft
Summary: your name is eridan ampora/your name is sollux captor. Vignette - Character death


_I am so out of it this weekend._

_Well yeah this is sadstuck_

_Inspired by a mashup of Chicago by Sufjan Stevens and Clocks by Coldplay_

* * *

Your name is Eridan Ampora and you have been wading through eternity/your name is Sollux Captor and you have been floating home.

Death was quick and painful, messy, well earned. If you weren't so proud, you might admit this much. Your pride is monumental. You are nothing if not proud.

Dying was a convoluted mess. You aren't even sure you _are_ dead anymore. Half in and half out. Always halves with you. Never wholly anything.

And now you wade. Now you walk. Now you wish to be picked up and carried far away just so you can rest your mind for a while from all this wading. The shallow aquatic medium is as unforgiving as you are. You deserve this. You deserve all of this.

Wherever you are now, you are ready to leave. You are ready to stop floating and start walking again. It's time to go home. You hate whatever that implies as much as love it. You want a change of scenery, something other than a smiling friend and endless paradox space. Aradia is a good companion, but you miss others.

You are alone; you are alone and you are sad. You are lonely. You pine for enemies and friends to join you if only for a moment. You are alone and sad and sorry for what you did, but there is no forgiveness in this waste. There is no hope for you - you are a destroyer of hope.

Your name is Sollux Captor and you can't decide/your name is Eridan Ampora and you have you mind thoroughly made up.

Aradia is waiting at the door, in the car, outside of your room - doesn't matter. Point is, she's waiting for you and you are keeping her. You are keeping her and she is waiting and maybe just maybe you don't want to go anyway.

Feferi is not waiting at your door or the lake or anywhere. No one is waiting for you and you have come to terms with this. You have come to terms with this and you are sad for yourself. You have accepted that your actions were by and large mistakes. You have accepted this and you are decided: you will be freed of yourself.

There is a gun in your father's closet and you know how to get to it and use it. The pills in your bathroom are lethal if you take an extra dose. Feferi wants you to go to her wedding (whether with you or anyone, she wants you to be there). Karkat told you to cut it out last time something happened and he had to save your sorry ass.

Your house is full of dangerous things and your life empty of safe friends.

You can't think of your name right now and you think you are about to go home.

The bridge over the river looks particularly symbolic/maybe this way no loved ones will find your corpse.

You leave your car in the garage and walk all the way there/someone might like the bike they're about to find parked in the middle of the bridge.

There's another boy walking toward the middle when you get there. He looks familiar and he doesn't look happy to see you. Maybe your face has shown up in his dreams before too, and he also doesn't like the idea of a guardian angel showing up to change his mind. He's an unimportant factor in a half remembered dream. He's an omen. He's maybe your doom, but you would have died today anyway.

You take your glasses off and shove them in your pocket. You both stop at the middle pillar. Climbing over won't be as physically difficult as mentally. Who will go first?

Your name is either Sollux or Eridan and you are seriously holding your arm out to let the other guy trying to jump off the bridge go first. You aren't scared of going first; manners are just that effectively ground into your system. Today is the day you beat the system. Now is the time to get out and force the world to continue its revolution. Starting in twenty or so minutes, the whole of the world will grow and change without you, and you are content with that thought.

"Fine I'll go," you both say at once and start climbing. It really doesn't matter. You can go with this stranger/friend/enemy.

You start to cry as you reach the top. This is really happening. You reach for the other boy.

Your name is Eridan Ampora and you are done.

Your name is Sollux Captor and you have made up your mind.


End file.
